A Pocketful of Olsens

Hippie Day

2011-07-27T09:05:00.000-04:00

Full body pic of outfit for "Hippie Day" @ camp

HIppie Day

2011-07-27T09:03:00.000-04:00

Very proud of homemade "hippie" costume for Hippie Day at camp.

Old Pictures from 2007

2011-06-11T20:35:00.000-04:00

More Tap Dance Pics

2011-06-04T17:31:00.000-04:00

Dress Rehearsal for Maddie's Tap Recital

2011-06-04T17:30:00.000-04:00

Josh's 40th

2011-04-28T20:56:00.000-04:00

Nyc

2010-12-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

Nyc

2010-12-21T21:20:00.000-05:00

The IT Crowd - Break the internet

2010-09-21T19:26:00.000-04:00

Children With Autism Improve Key Thinking Skills Over Time - On Parenting (usnews.com)

2010-09-21T15:20:00.000-04:00

Children With Autism Improve Key Thinking Skills Over Time - On Parenting (usnews.com)

The Best Candy Store in NYC

2010-09-11T10:26:00.002-04:00

Maddie and I went to the city for a Mommy/Daughter trip yesterday. She has read the new American Girl doll books that take place in early 1900s in New York. The Rebecca books. I wanted to take her to the Tenement Museum www.tenement.org to see what it was like to live back then. We did the Piecing it Together tour and loved it. I especially love the museum gift shop though. They have the funnest stuff. Umbrellas printed with maps of NY and posters with the subway lines, etc. Did not buy one thing, but boy did I want to. Just my kind of store.

Anyway, the museum is on the Lower East Side near Delancy. A part of Manhattan that I've never been to so I did an online search to find things in the area. I stumbled across the Economy Candy store. www.economycandy.com Finally, a candy store in NYC that does not charge you MORE than what you would pay in your own grocery stores back home for the same candy. (Yes, M&M and Hershey stores--I am referring to you) They also have every kind of candy you can imagine. We ended up getting this gigantic wax lips for the kids-pictures posted below. Why hasn't anyone ever told me about the Lower East Side? I would much rather shop there than the money vortex that is Downtown anyday.

My favorite part about Economy Candy? The owner has pictures of himself with celebrities that have come in-Mike Meyers, Jude Law, one of the Olsen twins. Are they framed up front? Nope, they're Polaroids that are stuck to the side of the Snapple cooler at the back of the store. LOVE IT!

Andrew

2010-09-10T20:38:00.000-04:00

Maddie Crazy Lips

2010-09-10T20:26:00.000-04:00

Summer Photo Album

2010-08-26T19:08:00.003-04:00

Attempting to post an album I created for Facebook of pics from our summer so far. Let's see if this works............

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=104401&id=1539311075&l=2706c3204a

Maddie whaley lake 2010-06-26 14.31.25

2010-06-27T20:11:00.001-04:00

Andrew w/ blue tongue from Icee 2010-06-26 14.30.30

2010-06-27T20:11:00.000-04:00

Maddie on climbing wall at Sportstime. 2010-06-19 15.34.47

2010-06-27T20:10:00.001-04:00

Recent Photos of the kids.

2010-06-27T20:10:00.000-04:00

And still more crazy conversations with my kids.........

2010-05-07T08:41:00.002-04:00

Between Maddie and myself in the car yesterday:

Maddie: Look at those clouds. I wish I could go up there and touch them.

Me: Yes, that look so nice and fluffy, don't they? Like cotton candy. Too bad they're really just made of rain.

Maddie (in her best "shows what you know, Mom" snotty voice): No, Mom, clouds are made of WATER!!

(Because, as we all know, there is a HUGE difference between rain and water.)

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I already posted this on blogspot-but it deserves a re-posting here. Wednesday was Andrew's birthday. We took him to one of the local malls where they have a bungee trampoline ride. Andrew has been on them once before, so we knew he liked them. It was so fun to watch him. I think he must hate losing his stomach (like me), because he would get these bug-eyed, mouth-wide-open terrified looks on his face for a couple seconds, then replace them with huge smiles and laughter. When he was done, he kept chanting: "I did it! Good job!" over and over. One of the many times I curse myself as a parent for not being better at videotaping my kids in action.

Miscommunication at McDonald's with a side of Canadian Bacon

2010-04-05T09:58:00.004-04:00

A week ago, Spring Break started. I was on my way home from an overnight shift and decided to grab breakfast at Mickey D's for the kids to celebrate the upcoming vacation. Called Josh and got a list: sausage burrito for Maddie, sausage biscuit for Andrew, egg and sausage mcmuffin for Josh. I know a lot of McDonald's stores now employ foreigners but I have still not had any communication difficuties until this particular trip. I think it was a combination of the the woman manning the drive through having ESL issues and a terrible rainstorm we were having that morning that made it hard to hear through the drive through speakers. The whole experience was like something out of an Abbot and Costello skit:

Drive through lady (DTL): May I take your order? (without asking me if I wanted one of their stupid new lattes-thank you, lady!)

Me (already getting wet from the rain coming into the open window): Yes, I would like a sausage burrito, a sausage biscuit, four hash browns, an Egg McMuffin and an Egg McMuffin with sausage.

DTL: Canadian bacon?

Me: What?

DTL: Egg McMuffin-Canadian bacon?

Me: Egg McMuffin with sausage.

DTL: Sausage is Canadian bacon. (I don't know what she really meant to say, but this is what I heard)

Me: Your sausage is made from Canadian bacon?

DTL: yes, Canadian bacon?

Me: Ok, Canadian bacon...wait, why do you only have one order for Egg McMuffin on the screen?

DTL: what?

Me: I need TWO Egg McMuffins, one plain and one with sausage.

So at this point, everything looked accurate on the screen. It seemed everything was straightened out and I pulled up and got the order. Then, I checked the bag before I left the parking lot. No sausage burrito.

Switch to visualization of me getting soaking wet running across the parking lot in the pouring rain to go into McD's to get Madeline's sausage burrito. The manager says to me, "M'am, we didn't charge you for a sausage burrito." I look at the receipt and she is correct, so I say "Well, would you charge me for one now, because I ordered one?"

Pay for the burrito, run back to the car. No need for a shower this day, already cleaned off by the pouring rain!! Drive home, everybody's happy.....but wait, there's a punchline....guess what they put on my plain Egg McMuffin...that's right...CANADIAN BACON!!

How can you not post things like this when you come across them?

2010-03-10T10:02:00.001-05:00

Picking on My Dad Again

2010-02-22T20:05:00.002-05:00

One more that is just too good to resist. Everyone that loves to tease my father will love this one. Madeline got in trouble at school for turning in an assignment incomplete, so the teacher made her stay in from recess to finish it. (She is really good at school and has no problems completing assignments, so she did deserve this) Anyway, Madeline is one of the "teacher's pet" students-she HATES getting in trouble. Later at home, she wrote a letter to her teacher to try to make up for her misstep. Here is the letter, verbatim:

Dear, Mrs. Fischer
Sorry that I didn't do the seventh sentice here it is
I opened the door for Jim.
PS Jim ran away before I could open the door because there was a snake outside.
from Madeline

Hysterical, right? For those of you not familiar with my family, my dad is Jim and he is TERRIFIED of snakes.

For My Online Fans, with love from Madeline

2010-02-22T19:57:00.002-05:00

Maddie was playing around in Paint with a family portrait we had taken a couple years ago with April's family and my mom. She INSISTED I put it on the blog. So, here it is.........

Out of Context Dr. Suess

2010-02-22T19:42:00.004-05:00

I took Maddie and Andrew into Manhattan last Wednesday during April break. Maddie went to American Girl store or as we like to call it at our house, the Here-Just-Take-All-My-Money-and-My-First-Born-so-I-Can-Buy-My-Daughter-a-Costume-for-Her-Doll store. Andrew got a trip to Build-a-Bear on 5th Avenue near the American Girl Place. You would think these children would appreciate the lengths I go to for them to have fun on their breaks and act accordingly.

For those of you not familiar with autistic quirks, Andrew often engages in something called echolalia, which is basically repeating favorite phrases over and over and over and over...... His favorite is to quote movies, shows, books, etc. His favorite book is "Green Eggs and Ham," so that gets quoted A LOT.

You are now ready to picture my humiliation as we walk the 7 blocks up 5th Avenue to the stores with my son loudly proclaiming "Would you, could you in the dark?" followed by "Would you, could you with a goat?" I am not making this up or exaggerating-those really were the two lines he picked out of that entire book. So, I tried to make up for it by loudly filling in with the refrain, "I do not like Green Eggs and Ham, I do not like them Sam-I-Am!!" Maddie would have given anything to not have been anywhere near us during that walk.

Sorry no pics-I was too busy being overwhelmed mom that day.

Fat Mom and Fat Dad

2010-02-03T17:52:00.002-05:00

These pictures are at least a month old. Andrew put a shirt on over his coat, which looked hysterical, so I took a picture. Maddie said, "He's dressed up like Fat Daddy!" Then, she put on one of her shirts over her coat so she could be "Fat Mom." We gave Andrew the pretend glasses to complete the "Fat Dad" look. Where do these children learn such disrespect for their elders?

Just because...

2010-01-30T14:05:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted on the kids for a while. They're both as fun as ever.

We joined our local children's museum. They have a prehistoric exhibit there, including bones. I pointed it out to Maddie-"Look, dinosaur bones!" After doing her own research on the exhibit, she was quick to point out to me, "Mom, those aren't dinosaur bones. It's Manny from the Ice Age movies!" (in other words, a wooly mammoth-well, excuuuse me!)

My favorite thing they have at that museum is a pile driver drill demo. Am I saying that right? It's the drill where you slowly crank it up, then it releases very quickly and pounds into the ground? It's like a really scary Jack-in-the-box and although a lot of the boys in the 10+ range seem to find it cool, all the other kids were terrified.

Andrew has taken to saying, "Dear Heavenly Father, Don't come in!!" for his prayers. I have no idea where this came from and frankly, I don't want to know! He also likes to practice spitting out water when his mouth is full thanks to a scene from "Chicken Run" that he likes. Josh handled it much better than I did, teaching him to spit in the tub rather than on the floor. Or maybe Andrew made the change himself. He may be an imp, but he's a clever imp.

I hope Dad got something good at Blockbuster

2010-01-30T13:43:00.002-05:00

I hope this link still works. Some people have seen it through Facebook already. I haven't known my dad to frequent Blockbuster since he discovered Netflix, so either this pic is from an old archive file they had or my dad has a twin somewhere in the world (hopefully not an evil one :) ...

http://l.yimg.com/a/i/ww/news/2010/01/22/blockbuster.jpg

P.S. For added info, I first saw this pic underneath the headline to a yahoo news story.

2009-12-23T09:03:00.001-05:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

The Non-Competitive Gaming World

2009-10-02T19:05:00.003-04:00

**also posted to Facebook-you can ignore this if you already read it there.

Madeline made up some games: I See A Thing, Moving Circles and Guess What Shape I Pointed To. She started me off with GWSIPT today. Here's the best part. She draws 7 shapes on a paper and points to one behind my back, so I say "how many guesses do I get?" Maddie gleefully shouts "TEN!" And that's how we played it folks-winners all around.

Miscommunication

2009-10-02T08:05:00.002-04:00

I took Maddie and Andrew with me to get some Lo Mein at the local Chinese take out. My kids call Lo Mein "Chinese spaghetti." Anyway, we were getting Lo Mein so I wouldn't have to cook and could take the kids to Bingo night at Maddie's school later that evening. We won a Borders gift certificate, 2 Carmel Teacher's Association pens and a picture book. Hurray for us!

So, back to our story. The whole time we have lived here, the take out owner's children tend to be in the restaurant every time we stop by. We don't go there that often, so we don't really know them, but Maddie began to get curious about them. She tried to have a conversation with me about it in the car and it was like the Abbot and Costello "Who's on first" routine, Olsen-style:

Maddie: How old do you think the son is?
Me: Millions of years old.
Maddie: Millions? Mo-om!! He's not like thousands of years old.
Me: I didn't say thousands. The sun is millions of years old, back to the time of dinosaurs.
Maddie: Mo-om!! He can't be that old-then he would have gray hair and a beard.
Me: The sun doesn't have hair-it's a big ball of fire and gas.
Maddie: You're crazy, Mom. The son is a person-what are you talking about?
Me: What are you talking about? The sun in the sky?
Maddie: NOOOO!! The son from the Chinese restaurant-why would I be talking about the sun from the sky?
Me: Oh.

More Mohawk

2009-09-09T22:07:00.000-04:00

I Wish I Could Be Young and a Camper Again

2009-09-09T22:06:00.000-04:00

Maddie's head counselor sent me a bunch more pictures from camp. Maddie looks like she's having a blast in all of them.

Trash Museum of Hartford

2009-09-09T21:04:00.000-04:00

Can you find the kids hidden amongst the trash?
Coolest museum ever!!

Overheard at our house...............

2009-08-04T10:39:00.002-04:00

Andrew's favorite new phrase---"Sorry, George"
He says it all the time. I mean, ALL THE TIME!!

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Maddie to Josh and I: Are you supposed to put sunscreen on your private parts?
My response: Do you plan to go outside naked?
Maddie: MO-OM!!
Me: Well, then I guess you don't need it there.

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The set-up: Maddie is having a hard time getting to sleep. She keeps calling out to Josh and I to our perch on the couch in the living room and looking for excuses to get up and join us. Finally, out of desperation and hoping for a teammate in her trouble-making, she starts in on Andrew---

"Is Andrew still awake? Andrew, are you still up?"

To which, Andrew responds with..."Shut up"

Who knew he even knew that phrase? Shame on you, Andrew, but at the same time--Go, Andrew!!

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I was bathing Maddie last night when I spotted a tick on her arm. I pulled her out of the tub to tend to it, which led to an all-out war between the two of us. When she finally let me remove it, turns out it was a dark piece of sock fuzz that had ended up in the tub (I think from Andrew's bath). It really did look like a bug. Maybe I need an eye exam.

Boys and Moms and Worms

2009-07-23T18:12:00.002-04:00

This is a post from my facebook page that seemed worth the repeat. Skip if you already read on FB--I didn't change anything.

We're in the parking lot of Andrew's recreation program, when the boy of the hour bends down to pick up a brown ponytail holder someone had lost. Ok, no big deal. Then, he bends down to pick up a dry, shriveled-up brown worm. Ok, bigger deal. So, I start to say, "Andrew, drop the worm...........Andrew, drop the worm......" increasing in tempo and volume with each refrain. I begin to wonder if Andrew can't tell the difference between the elastic and the worm when he brings his arm back and sends the worm flying right onto my head. Have I mentioned before how good his aim is? It. Was. Gross.

Overheard at Our House

2009-07-22T17:58:00.003-04:00

Maddie to me: How do they make yarn?
Me: I think they put a bunch of thread together.
Maddie: Actually, yarn comes from Alpacas.

Which begs the question, if she knew, why did she ask me?

Then, when she asked where cotton came from and I told her plants, she didn't want to believe me. I think she was looking for another animal answer.

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News from Maddie's camp--the great escaping tortoise, Cherry, was found under the bridge going into the girls' bathroom, after going missing for 7 days (according to Maddie.) Poor Cherry-maybe if the tortoise was as fast as the hare she would have been able to make her way beyond the camp borders. As it is, the girls bathroom she is talking about is about 50 feet from the nature shed.

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Madeline constructed a toy zip line for her smaller stuffed animals using plastic forks and plastic thread (the kind used to make lanyards.) It was actually quite impressive, but I don't think it held up for more than a day.

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Andrew has already figured out how to kill Nancy Drew 3 different ways in the new game. That's his favorite part-killing her off. It doesn't help that Maddie gives him a brilliant reaction every time by completely freaking out. I always tell her we save the game often enough that it doesn't matter, but it just isn't good enough-she wants that "perfect" game.

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Maddie shared with me that she had an argument with her camp counselor today, because her counselor didn't think she should apply sunscreen for the FOURTH time. Too funny. We've obviously emphasized the importance of sunscreen TOO WELL. Maddie did have a valid point, though. She had a third swim session in the pool and she always reapplies the sunscreen after swimming due to the water washing off the previous application.

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Maddie and the Social Norms

2009-07-18T08:22:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was "Halloween Day" for Maddie's age group at camp. She decided she wanted to be a bride, but seemed to realize being a "bride" may not be "cool" with other kids in her age group. Boys have cooties and all that. Anyway, she definitely wanted to be a bride, but kept qualifying with statements like...."This is so embarrassing"............."They better not ask me to take pictures with any boys"......................"*big sigh* No, Mom, I'll be a bride."

Please keep in mind, I gave her at least 3 other options from the dress up box. It was a little tough to come up with a "Halloween" costume she wouldn't roast in, but she DID have other options. Trust me, she wanted to be the bride. Anyway, she came home from camp VERY relieved due to the fact that her friend, Lilah, had also defied convention and gone with a bride costume.

Camp Visiting Day, part 2-pics with fam and friends

2009-07-15T22:23:00.003-04:00

Kaitlyn and Maddie practice synchronized swimming-but not on purpose!!

Maddie and Nana. Maddie quote-"My favorite part of camp is whenever I get to see Nana!"

Maddie and Poppa. Or Papa. My dad never really clarified how he spells his grandpa nickname.

Maddie and long time friend (and van buddy), Samantha.

Maddie and "BFF" Kaitlyn.

Parent Visiting Day at camp, part 1

2009-07-15T22:21:00.003-04:00

Gymnastics, swimming, basketball and group cheers--all of this in just the first half of the day. Once again, another fun packed summer at Mohawk!!

More pics from the NYC trip

2009-06-27T12:44:00.002-04:00

Central Park and FAO Schwartz

2009-06-27T08:59:00.003-04:00

Took the kids on an end-of-the-school-year day trip into Manhattan with my sister and her kids. We met up with her sister-in-law and family. Getting around with my nephew in a wheelchair was very difficult logistically. NYC is not friendly to the physically disabled community. On a better note, someone pointed out an inexpensive Chinese take-out place where we were able to get lunch that was left us enough for dinner as well. $30 to feed April and I and 5 children two meals in NYC? Wow!! Ann, April's SIL and her husband, Brian knew of this great playground in Central Park with fountains for the kids to run through. Despite the drizzly weather, the kids loved getting wet. We ended the day with a walkthrough at FAO Schwartz where the kids got to play on the piano from the movie, "Big." Wish I hadn't been so tired from working the night before. Overall, a really nice day.

Parental Brag x2

2009-06-20T10:34:00.003-04:00

Wait!! She's on there twice!! I just found her on the farm page petting a pony!!

http://www.campmohawk.com/tmpl.php?pagename=farm

Awesome PR skills, little blonde one!! I actually remember the horse pic, because they sent it home, so I KNOW that one is from 2 summers ago. You can see how she gets red, not tan at camp. I need SPF 5000 for her or something. They apply sunscreen at least twice a day, too. Not including the application we give her when she leaves home.

Parental Brag

2009-06-20T10:31:00.002-04:00

Maddie's picture is on the website for the camp she goes to.

http://www.campmohawk.com/tmpl.php?pagename=programs

She is the last picture (10th) on the Programs page. I think it is from 2 years ago 'cuz she has all her teeth.

How Andrew got flour all over his bedroom and by the way, who gets to clean up this mess?

2009-05-01T17:55:00.001-04:00

Andrew likes to pretend play with Thomas trains, which includes acting out the videos. If you've seen the videos, you know Thomas gets messy, which Andrew also acts out. Naturally, I followed Andrew when he went into his room with a bag of flour from the kitchen. Let's just say we've done the "pour flour all over Thomas and the train table" dance before. As I entered his room, Andrew scooped an entire fistful of flour from the bag, screamed "snowball!" and threw it at me. He's in physical therapy at school, which I am going to stop, because his aim has gotten really good as evidenced by the direct facial hit I took. Flour is in my eyes, nose and mouth, while Andrew erupts into prolonged giggles. I storm out of the room to get something to clean up when Maddie notices my face. Realizing what just happened, she runs into Andrew's room and commences an all out flour fight with him. Andrew looks like a ghost, Maddie looks like a ghost, the room is in need of serious vacuum therapy and I am so mad at my husband because he took the camera into work yesterday and didn't bring it back. That's the worst of it-I can't get photographic evidence to blackmail the kids when they grow up. Where's the fun in that?

More Conversations from the Land of Motherhood

2009-04-02T21:25:00.002-04:00

This actual conversation took place today upon Madeline entering the house with me after getting off the bus-------------------------------

Maddie: Mommy, today some real life authors came to our school. They write non-fiction books. Do you know those brothers? You know, those ones who could fly?

Me, the Mom: The Wright Brothers?

Maddie: Yea!! They wrote about book about them. And you know that guy? Frankenstein? The one who invented science?

Me: Ben Franklin?

Maddie: Yes!! They wrote a book about Ben Franklin, too.

How did I know she meant Ben Franklin? I have no idea-I'm telling you it's just one of those secret mom powers. And no, I did not let her continue to think Frankenstein invented science-we talked all about the key and the lightning and now we are both confused.

Kiddie Quotes

2009-03-05T11:37:00.000-05:00

My daughter, Madeline, sits next to the sister of a boy in her class on the bus. They got into an argument (gee, a child of mine with a strong, stubborn personality) and now this girl doesn't want to see next to Maddie anymore. So I suggested she sit next to the brother:"Mo-om, I can't sit next to HIM. It would DESTROY my WHOLE LIFE!!"I guess we can't have that now, can we?

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I've explained echolalia on my blog, but I will do it again to set up Andrew's quote. Andrew engages in lots of echolalia, which is basically when children with speech/language issues randomly repeat words or phrases they have heard over and over with no relation to the situation they are in at the time. It's always fun when Andrew goes to school and repeats adult conversations Josh and I may have had in front of him when we weren't paying attention. (yes, that was Sarcastic Wendy speaking) Anyhoo, Andrew's current favorite echolalic phrase is something he got off a Nancy Drew PC game we played with him and his sister:"No...no police....no Emergency Room!" He says this at least 20 times a day at home and I know he is saying it at school. I keep waiting for a call from the school social worker to check up on what is happening in our home.

Everyone Should Have A Grandparent Like Opa

2009-02-06T14:11:00.001-05:00

**copied from my Facebook page, so if you read this there, it's the same. I'm feeling nostalgic today.

My grandfather's health has gone into decline in recent years and he doesn't always know who I am, anymore. In some ways, I am already mourning the absence of a person who was one of the largest presences in my life growing up despite the fact that he typically lived at least 2-3,000 miles away from wherever I did. Opa is just one of those people who is going to be in your life, in your business, whether you want him to or not. When he was healthy, he had a larger than life personality that you just couldn't ignore.
Some of my favorite memories:
1. His lifelong nickname for my sister and I involves a German swear word. The best part is that he would always say it with affection. It was like, "I love you, you little brats." Only a much stronger word than brats. I still can't get over how being cussed at became a positive thing. Opa was very upfront with people and quick to point out your mistakes, yet he was always good natured about my mistakes even when pointing them out to me and I actually learned to be more accepting of my imperfections because of it.
2. I don't really remember he and my grandmother having any major fights in front of me, but they used to bicker all the time and they were both so witty it was like watching a sitcom. Case in point, my friend and I were in the car with my grandparents when they were visiting me at college--they had the following argument:
Opa to Grandma: Speak up, Annie. I can't understand you.Grandma tries again.Opa: Annie, speak up. We can't hear you.Grandma calls Opa a not-so-nice word under her breath. I believe it was the son of, but I can't quite remember.Opa, to my friends and I: Did you hear that? Did you hear what your grandmother called me?Grandma: Oh, sure, you couldn't hear me before, but you heard THAT!!Opa: I always hear THAT!!
My friends and I couldn't contain our giggles the rest of the way to the restaurant.
3. When April and I became Mormon, Opa's prior experience with the religion involved next door neighbors, who he liked because they were really nice, but they had something like 7 children, including a pregnancy that had put the mother's health at risk. Having grown up in a European household, Opa did not agree with this. Opa was convinced that being Mormon meant we would grow up and become baby factories when we were married, so to prevent this, he would send me every overpopulation article or write up he could find trying to convince me to have what he considered a reasonable number of kids. A lot of times the articles would be related to China or India, since people haven't been concerned with overpopulation in this country for decades, but he would send them anyway. He would put post-its on them that said things like "Mormons have too many children!" This lasted for like 10-12 years, until my sister had the first great grandchild, then it stopped cold turkey. What can I say? He really likes babies!! To his credit, he would also send every positive article that came out in the So. Cal. area newspapers about Mormonism, as well.
4. Opa has one of the biggest "outgoing" genes out there. Having seen my mother and my sister in action, I know they inherited it from him. He is the type of person who can strike up a conversation with ANYONE, ANYWHERE. Trust me, if we were all waiting in line to get some terrible thing like a rectal exam from a doctor, my grandfather would have found a way to lighten the mood and make conversation. His whole personality is based on the assumption that all humans want interaction with other humans and for the most part, I think he is right.
5. Opa believed in SPOILING, SPOILING, SPOILING grandkids. He always griped that we weren't grateful enough and I think he was right, but it never stopped him. You got birthday/christmas presents EVERY YEAR, a phone call EVERY WEEK, constant letters. You got to stay with them and visit for as long as you wanted every summer. Opa was at every special occasion of my life, HS graduation, college grad, wedding, post baby visits. He had to travel at least 1000 miles to get to these events. I bet the amount of contact I've received from my grandparents throughout my life would number in the thousands and the amount I reciprocated was probably a tenth of what I got. It's a wonderful feeling to have that kind of unconditional love.
I love my grandfather and l loved my grandma and I am so awed by what a terrific team they were. They both touched people in their own way and the world is definitely a better place for them having lived in it.

Last, but not least - God's Beautiful Ice Storm

2009-01-08T19:08:00.004-05:00

I hate driving in the winter. I hate being out in the cold. But, I do love the beauty of winter. It really takes my breath away that something so stark, harsh and cold still manages to look magnificent. We had a mini ice storm yesterday, including school cancellations and random power outages through the day. There are quite a few birch trees in our neighborhood and they are all leaning over (see last photo), due to thin trunks. My most amazed moment was the fact that the top of the pine tree at the end of our driveway was sagging on top of itself. The first photo is my favorite. Maddie leaned out the front door to treat me to a dirty look, which translated as, "when you are going to stop acting like a goofy picture-taking dork and come inside and make the hot chocolate you promised me and Andrew?"

Random Stuff

2009-01-08T18:56:00.002-05:00

"No. It's not too appropriate because it has the word wiener in it. Daddy and I made it up."

Maddie's response to my question-- "Did you learn that song in school?" --because it really is not too appropriate--Josh is busted BIG TIME!!!

"We need another pants, shirt, and a dress."

OK, you need background for this one. I was helping my niece, Lily, get dressed after a bath. She is known for major layering issues. Lily loves to wear at least 3-4 outfits at a time. Anyway, her mother made the mistake of only giving me one pair of pants and one shirt to put her in. Lily went to her dresser for the rest. I let her put it all on-what can I say-I'm a major pushover, as an aunt.

HOW I FOUND OUT ANDREW KNOWS HOW TO READ THE WORD "PULL." When we were picking up take-out and he tried to pull the handle on the fire alarm buy the door. You know -- where it says the word "pull." I'm sitting there repeating "don't you dare.....DON'T YOU DARE..." whilst physically placing myself between him and the alarm and pushing him out the door. It wasn't pretty-he really wanted to PULL. I don't think I'll be able to show my face at that locale for a while, which is fine because Chinese take-out is yummy, but sort of pricey.

Late Christmas Post

2009-01-08T18:25:00.002-05:00

People were not very excited to have their picture taken this year. It was a nice holiday, with both my brothers flying in from out of state. I got to meet my youngest nephew and we threw a belated 60th birthday roast for my dad. I kind of wish it hadn't ended. Overall, very nice Christmas !!!

I can't believe even my 2 year old nephew knows to stick his tongue out at me and my camera!

Why You Should Go See "Twilight" The Next Cult Classic

2008-11-30T18:29:00.003-05:00

1. As April observed, every time the Cullen vampires tried to look angry, they looked constipated. Especially the actor who played Jasper. Seriously, give the kids some fiber.

2. Lines like, "You're like a drug to me, my own personal heroin." This was supposed to be romantic.

3. So, in the book, Edward (the hero vampire) can't stand Bella's smell at first because it makes him want to suck her blood. You can't miss this classic scene: Bella (the heroine or should I say heroin) walks into the science lab and crosses in front of a large metal fan. No idea why the fan was there ( I don't remember small details of the book to know if this was even in the book)--anyway, the fan starts blowing her hair around and she shakes her head around like she is in a music video. While Bella is having her video hussy moment, the smell blows over to Edward. He looks like he is about to vomit. Then, he looks even more like he is about to vomit by throwing his hand over his mouth and physically retching forward a couple times.

4. In the book Bella and Edward end up in the meadow and talk about him being a vampire--the movie people try to replicate this scene from the book, including the moment where Edward's skin glistens like millions of diamonds and Bella is struck by the beauty. The special effect made it look like someone was pouring gallons of salt in front of the face of the actor.

5. Every time the vampires bite someone, they don't show teeth or blood so it looked like people running around giving each other hickeys.

Despite the many-flawed first half, the pace picked up quite a bit in the second half and the ending actually made me want to watch the next one. Wendy's verdict--you may want to wait and pay the video rental price, but it's definitely worth a watch. I haven't laughed, groaned or awwwed that much in a movie in a long time.

Webkinz Stuff

2008-11-30T18:20:00.002-05:00

Maddie created a chapel for all her Webkinz so they could go to church. It was really cute. The pews were made of loveseats and the podium was an end table.

Maddie watched "Dancing with the Stars" with me this season. She took all of her stuffed Webkinz (I think she has 6 total) and turned them into contestants. BTW, Maddie refers to the show as "Dancing of the Stars." The dance categories that her Webkinz were competing in were Tango, Mango and Boogie Woogie. Yup, Tango is the only real dance from the show. I don't think she remembered the names of any of the others.

Due to the fact that the professional dancers are better than the "stars" are on the show, Maddie always thought the dancers were the actual contestants and she always cheered for them rather than the so-called famous people. She wanted Julianne Hough to win because she did a handstand split over her partner once that Maddie thought was the coolest thing she had ever seen in her life. Truth be told, it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, as well. She called Julianne, "......the blonde girl that did that really cool thing." "I want her to win, Mommy." She didn't, but we found, Brooke Burke, the winner, to be pretty amazing, too.

Random Stuff

2008-11-29T22:39:00.004-05:00

Just came back from a girls' night out with my sister and stepmother in honor of my 39th birthday. In other words, in honor of the last birthday I will ever acknowledge. We braved the throng of squealing 12 year old girls and saw a showing of "Twilight." It was a lot of fun. There are so many moments in the first half of the movie where the whole audience was laughing when they weren't supposed to be that I smell a future cult classic.

Upon returning home, Maddie handed me a present of a Chinese yuan (dollar) that my dad had given her after a trip to China. Maddie knows I love Chinese food and she explained that she was giving me the Chinese money so I could go buy Chinese food with it. "I don't need it, Mommy. Use it to buy Chinese food." I looked at Josh and said, "Can I use Chinese money to buy Chinese food?" (In other words, this is so crazy maybe I should try it.) Josh's response: "Yes. In China."

*****************************************************
Random stuff not related to my birthday--

Andrew does this speech delayed thing called echolalia. It's where a child will repeat words and phrases over and over, but they have no relation to what's going on at the time. Andrew has used echolalia for years. He likes to show his sense of humor with it. Some of his favorite echolalic phrases include----

"There goes our last female" (from the dodo birds in Ice Age)

"I don't want to be a pie. I don't like gravy." (from Chicken Run)

"God made you special and he loves you very much." (from Veggie Tales)

"My butt hurts." (from his communication device-the school claims they did not program this phrase onto the device. Apparently, it came with this phrase from the manufacturer. Thanks for nothing, Dynavox.)

"Keep or throw away?" (from room cleaning sessions with his mom)

"Where are the car keys? Are in they in the toilet?" (from our situation with him a couple of months ago.)

To really appreciate this, you have to imagine him shouting out these phrases at all sorts of random times--when you're in line at the store, at Church, at the library, etc.

*************************************************

The dodo bird phrase reminds me of another random thing. I took the kids to the Bronx Zoo at the end of the summer. We were riding the tram through Safari World or something and the driver asked on the intercom if anyone could think of any extinct animals. Other than dinosaurs, nothing was named. Finally I remembered and shouted out, "Dodo Birds!!" Maddie then kept asking if we were going to see dodo birds during the ride despite my repeated attempts to explain what "extinct" means.

************************************************

More Maddie reports from the world of first grade:

When talking to me about the pie tasting that Maddie and I were making a chocolate pie for--

Maddie: "Timmy B is making an apple pie and guess what? We're going to eat it with our hands!!"
Me: "Who said that??!!
Maddie: "Timmy B."

Another time, Maddie was describing a little boy in the class who sounded like a boy in her class last year that had proposed to her. (If I haven't shared the story with you, this boy decided he wanted to marry Maddie and his mother shared this with me. I told his mother that Maddie had shared with me that she didn't want to marry anyone when she grew up; she just wanted to live by herself with her cats--which by the way, is 100% true. Maddie's life ambition in kindergarten was to be an old maid cat lady. Anyway, this little boy decided that since he had a cat at home, Maddie would marry him. So, he got up the nerve to propose and went home crying and devastated when she turned him down.) Back to this year's story, this boy in her class now sounded like the boy from last year and I told Maddie this. The next day, Maddie comes home and tells me they are alike because the boy from her class this year wants to marry her, too!!! I can't help but picture the conversation in my mind. Maddie: "Hey, do you want to marry me?" The kid: "Sure." And that folks, is how you become almost engaged in first grade. By the way, Maddie has now decided she would like to settle down and have one child when she grows up, but not with any of the boys she knows now. She wants to "meet some man" when she gets older. That's right, none of those boys for her--she's holding out for a man. Maddie makes her mama so proud!!!

Reading Between the Lines

2008-11-14T16:05:00.003-05:00

As a parent, the ability to "read between the lines" is paramount. Let me give you an example. As is the case in most special ed classrooms, there is a journal that goes back and forth via the backpack every day for Andrew's teachers to communicate with us. Go back with me a couple of weeks and enter my mind to read the following from Andrew's journal.

Andrew had a very good morning.........blah, blah.... then at lunchtime, he grabbed a fellow student's thermos and dumped it on his head, then laughed.....then he kept kissing another fellow female student and ignored verbal direction to stop........more generally bad behavior.....brief time out for yelling.....blah, blah, then it was time for cooking group and he got better. (information insertion-the cooking group turn-around is no big surprise since cooking is one of Andrew's favorite activities)

I had a five minute laugh over the fact that they thought couching Andrew's outrageous behavior with two sentences indicating he had a good morning and an OK afternoon would somehow take my focus off the middle. You know, the MEAT of things. I wrote them a note back that night--In other words, my son was a sneaky little devil yesterday. The teacher got a kick out of that and the fact that I knew exactly which student he had been trying to kiss. (The one he thinks is his girlfriend-duh!)

Anyway, I now feel great solidarity with the teachers who also get frustrated by Andrew's antics. My sister's favorite quote to me during one of the times I couldn't get Andrew to stop goofing off is: "Wendy, the only one who thinks it isn't funny is YOU." OK, that's not an exact quote, but to understand the exact quote I'd have to launch into the story of Andrew and the disco lights when we were trying to gather things up from a rented room that Maddie had had a birthday party in. Let's just say, it's hard to gather your things when your son can turn the room into a dim kaleidoscope of swirling colored balls with the flick of a lightswitch. Believe me, Andrew is a champion lightswitch flicker when he wants to be.

Moving on to a Madeline story, for the purposes of me not being accused of favoring one child over the other. For some background, Maddie is really enjoying having a full on cafeteria at her school and always wants the school lunch. It took me a few weeks to figure out one of the reasons is that pizza is always an alternative to the hot lunch menu. Madeline and her friend, ******, always eat lunch together. They always get pizza. EVERY DAY. Maddie is going to turn into a pizza any day now. So, now that we are three months into the school year, Maddie approached me a couple of weeks ago because she is, surprise, surprise, getting sick of eating pizza. She wants to start eating alternatives, but she is afraid ****** will be mad at her. I used the standard, "She's not really your friend if she gets mad at you for your lunch choices," but it's not really registering. Maddie is the girl who came home one day after camp and very excitedly told me how so and so was her best friend now because this girl wanted to trade knick knacks with Maddie and told her she would be her best friend if they traded. Even after my explanations, Maddie did not realize she had been played. She is very concrete in her relationships. So, back to the pizza. Madeline approached me last week to ask how you could not be allergic to something one day and allergic to it the next. I really didn't get this either so I asked for more info. It seems that ****** is starting to develop pizza allergies. A couple of days a week, ******* says she is allergic to pizza and has the hot lunch alternative instead. I said, "Maddie, don't you see? ******** is just as afraid to tell you that she doesn't really want to eat the pizza anymore!!" Maddie was very quick to point out how dumb I am and that most certainly was not what was happening. BUT, guess who has stopped eating pizza every day after this? MADELINE CLAIRE OLSEN, you have been officially caught in a situation that PROVES you thought your mother was right after all!!
(this is where you can insert the Maddie eye roll and long suffering sigh--two of her favorite kiss offs when dealing with yours truly)

HALLOWEEN: Maddie= witch, Andrew= Ron Weasley

2008-10-27T23:12:00.009-04:00

Pics from the ward Trunk or Treat

Pumpkin Picking With the CT Cousins

2008-10-27T23:05:00.006-04:00

The kids had fun pumpkin picking with three of their cousins from CT and their NY grandparents last week. Here's the pictures to prove it.

Wendy Rants

2008-10-19T13:17:00.002-04:00

I have to comment on one of the biggest frustration in having a special needs child-the lack of training given to the bus drivers and monitors. The district transportation departments contract these jobs out or put in their own people with the same training they recieved for dealing with typical children. Then, lo and behold, you end up with situations like this---

Yonkers school officials: autistic boy left on bus without required safety alarm
By Ernie GarciaThe Journal News • October 19, 2008
http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081019/NEWS02/810190374

YONKERS - A school bus on which a 6-year-old autistic boy was left for six hours did not have an alarm system mandated by the school district.
The alarm's purpose is to ensure that a driver does not miss any sleeping or hiding children.

On Friday, Yonkers schools spokeswoman Jerilynne Fierstein confirmed that the minibus owned by Allways East Transportation did not have the required Child Check Automatic Alarm.
"The company involved with this incident has a few vans that do not have the alarms, and on this particular day one of these vans was used," Fierstein wrote in a statement. "The District emphatically directed the bus company to cease using non-compliant vans or buses on any Yonkers routes."
School officials acknowledged the missing alarm after a Journal News reader sent the newspaper a copy of the district's 2007 request proposal for bus services for the 2007-10 school years.
The document clearly states that all vehicles must have the alarms.
The device is installed in the interior of the bus in the rear, and a bus driver must deactivate it by walking to the back of the bus.
Sofy Abraham's 6-year-old son was left on the bus Sept. 29 at Westchester Hills School 29 and reportedly was found on the bus later that day.
"How could they miss him if he sits right behind the bus driver?" Abraham said Friday. "The police told me that the monitor and the bus driver say that they did drop him off."
Abraham said her son is in good condition, but that he has little speaking ability, so it is unknown what happened to him during the time he was missing.
Fierstein noted that the driver has been banned from driving any school bus carrying Yonkers public school children and that the district has filed administrative charges against the bus monitor - a district employee - with her union.
Fierstein said the district immediately contacted police and that it continues to collaborate with police on the matter.
Yonkers police spokeswoman Lt. Diane Hessler said her department has made no arrests but that the matter was still under investigation.
Allways East Transportation, based in Yonkers, said previously that police have asked the company not to comment.
Abraham said the Westchester County District Attorney's Office also has become involved in the case. But on Friday, the official in charge of such issues was not at work, so the office's spokesman, Lucian Chalfen, could not confirm his department's involvement.
The Abraham boy is not the only autistic child in the region who disappeared recently for an entire school day.
On Thursday, New York City police arrested a school bus driver and a bus monitor after a 3-year-old autistic child was left on a school bus for six hours in the Bronx.
As with the Abraham boy, the Bronx boy's mother did not learn that her child had never arrived at school until the end of the school day.
The company involved in the Bronx incident was Pinnacle Bus Service of Brooklyn.
Abraham said Yonkers school officials should reconsider how they notify parents when their children do not show up for class.
"The system stinks that they don't call you until 6:30 p.m. to tell you your child was absent," she said.
Reach Ernie Garcia at elgarcia@lohud.com or 914-696-8290.

We are lucky that we have a really nice driver and monitor this year. Although we have actually gotten along with the driver and monitor this year, the transportation dispatch does not like me. They recognize my voice from problems in the past. The school districts always seem flabbergasted when you have trust issues with them---HELLO!! Wake up and smell the incompentence, people!

More Maddie-isms

2008-10-09T00:06:00.002-04:00

Lots of posts today. It's very late and I am too hyped up to sleep, so I am posting enough for the month. See you in November!!

Here's more that's come out of Maddie's mouth, lately:

(dedicated to my brother Jim, family nickname Jimmer, and his wife, Amy)

Mad: Mom, do you know why Jimmer married Amy?
Me: Why?
Mad: Because I told him to!!

Mad: Mommy, you'll never believe this. I am saying this for real. There are people in my class who have boyfriends and girlfriends. You're not supposed to have those until you are a teenager.
Me: Actually, you're not supposed to have those until you are 30.

Ok, here's what I really said--

You are absolutely right. I'm very proud of you, Maddie.

Mad: I used to sit next to *********, but we talked too much, so Mrs. Cutler moved me next to **** *************.
Me: So, you and **** ************* don't talk.
Mad: No, we talk, we just don't get caught.

meaning of *********** --I am not inclined to post the names of other children in her class without parental permission. Also, I am too lazy at the moment to create fake names.

Thatsa One Bigga Zuchinni

2008-10-08T23:39:00.003-04:00

I tried my hand at gardening this summer, just like I have the past four summers. I am of the easy-does-it gardener variety and I populate my gardens with the tomato and squash varieties found in the greater Northeast Wal-mart stores. Sometimes, I throw an eggplant or pepper plant in for fun, but they never yield anything (and I mean ANYTHING) reminding me I am not of the green thumb nature. This year, I tried the lettuce to great success and discovered the wonderful weed preventer called mulch. However, I forgot the mulch keeps in moisture and did nothing to cancel that out with drainage plans, so my zuchinni plants were in soggy ground. The zuchinni kept rotting before it got to be any bigger than finger size. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I am at my parents' house (where all my gardens grow) looking out the window, thinking it is time to turn over another garden, when I spotted it. I saw it from all the way in the house. I couldn't believe the garden fairy had left me such an amazing gift. It was a "country-fair-blue-ribbon" sized squash. We tried to give it to my brother-in-law for his birthday, but he didn't seem too keen on it. Then, today, Josh, the Hatchetman, turned it into two entire chicken zuchinni casseroles when I wasn't looking. I didn't even get to name it. Even though I had two weeks to do so. Oh, well. Here's to the miracle of the zuchinni, may it live up to it's size with it's taste.

Messing With Your Parents: Nobody Does It Better Than Andrew

2008-10-08T22:50:00.006-04:00

How to Mess With Your Parents--by Andrew Olsen

Chapter One--Keys: Parents Think They Really Need Them. Especially for things like cars and homes.

A couple of years ago, Andrew developed a fun habit of carrying our keys out to the backyard and not returning with them. This resulted in an entire set of keys being relegated to the black hole of "never to be found again" land. Since they included a car key with one of those microchips that are expensive to replace, we now have only one key to our Ford Focus. That's right-ONLY ONE. Pretty dumb, right? A couple of months ago, the key came up missing. After an agonizing two day search, Andrew came up to Josh and handed him the keys. Did he have them hidden all that time or did he just happen to find them? It's one of those Andrew mysteries. So, when the key went AWOL again and an hours-long search did nothing to locate them, we immediately zoomed in on Andrew. "Andrew, do you know where the car keys are?"

So, Andrew leads Josh to the toilet and points to the open bowl. Josh to Andrew, "You FLUSHED the keys down the toilet??!!" Andrew to Josh, "..flushed keys down toilet."

We freaked, fretted, put a hex on Ford and their stupid Microchip keys, went dizzy from the rise in our blood pressure and borrowed 2 snakes from my father. The snakes were slowly lowered into the bowl and swished around with great fanfare, but no keys were retrieved. In fact, nothing was retrieved. Thank goodness, because I didn't want to touch anything I had retrieved from the deepest abyss of the toilet. Anyhoo, I went to work the next day in my dad's borrowed car, trying to figure out how to get the insurance company to cover a loaner car that we needed due to our own sheer stupidity. I got to work and reached into my pocket and there were the car keys. That's right. They had been in my own coat pocket the whole time. Why didn't I check there in the first place? I thought I hadn't worn the coat since last fall. I forgot it was cold enough that I wore it at the end of last week. Have I called Ford yet to get a copy of the one and only key? Of course not. I better do it soon, though. It's just a matter of time before my son tries to send them down the plumber's river. And we can't say he didn't warn us.

Chapter Two--Shopping Cart Bowling: Extra Points if Your Mom Leaves her Mind in the Store

Andrew made up a new game. When at the store with your mother, aim the shopping cart at a nearby display and push with all your might. Extra points for hitting targets. He's very good at this new game; however, as his mother, I have proven to be just as good at noticing when he is in aiming mode and stopping him before the big push. I had him at the local Hannaford a couple of weeks ago and thought I could stop him from his little game at every turn. I was doing quite well until the very end when he sent the cart at least twenty feet down an aisle into a cardboard display of ping pong balls. That's right, ping pong balls. I hate to take away from the image, but I got lucky and they were packaged rather than loose. Still, Andrew was not happy with me when I made him pick up dozens of packages of ping pong balls to put the display back in order. He was in almost-tantrum mode by the time everything was put back, so I hurried and made our purchases and left.

As a mom, it's moments like this when you lose your mind. You forget you had the cell phone out of your purse and in the cart because your cell phone has become your watch and you were watching the time to make sure you made it home for your other child's bus. Then, halfway home, you remember where the cell phone is but you don't have time to run back and get it because, well, at this point, you need to hurry home, put away the groceries and make the bus. So, you go home, the groceries are shoved in places, maybe the right ones, maybe not. You grab the cordless phone and call the store on your way down the driveway to the bus. Yes, customer service has the phone, yes, they'll hold it for your husband to pick up on his way home from work. Now, you are at the bottom of the driveway with the house phone in your hand. The only phone you have in your house because you get your phone service through the cable company, which is cheaper, but it only gives you one line. You are about to carry the phone to the bus stop, but you feel foolish going to the bus stop with a cordless phone in your hand. You spot the mailbox and there it is. The moment of truth, when you convince yourself you can stick the phone in the mailbox and you will actually remember to get it on the way back into the house. Oh, you remember the phone, alright...........you remember an hour later when it starts ringing and you are out the door tearing down the driveway toward the mailbox. And who is to blame? Why, Andrew, of course. He was supposed to take my cell phone OUT of the cart before he shoved it at the ping pong balls.

The Tooth Fairy Wants to Know Why the Tooth is in a Pee-pee Cup

2008-09-26T17:16:00.005-04:00

The kids had their annual general physical exams today. I have no idea how we ended up on a fall schedule, but whatever the weather, the annual exam is always an adventure.

Of course, we started off the morning with Maddie questioning whether she was getting any shots. A question she repeated every five minutes until we got there, because I was giving her the "I don't know," instead of the "absolutely not" that she wanted.

We were late, of course, because the kids know annual exams mean needles and they did not want to get into the car for anything. The tardiness meant we had a nice extra long wait--45 minutes in the waiting room. Andrew was practically crawling up the walls in the waiting room by the time we got in. Too bad I can't blame the doctor for our lack of arriving on time, it would have been nice to have someone besides myself to be angry at in that moment.

I thought things were going well when Andrew immediately peed in the cup--something he wouldn't do last year. Maddie passed her vision test whilst Andrew urinated. Maddie then passed her hearing test and just when I thought it was going to be a banner year for the exams, we crashed and burned. Andrew either didn't get or chose to ignore the vision/hearing screening instructions; Maddie wouldn't pee. THEN, the nurse brought in the box of needles for the CBCs. That's right. The clueless nurse apparently thought that if one needle was going to scare them, a whole box would make them feel just peachy. To say Maddie freaked out would be putting it in mild terms.

I decided Andrew should be poked first, since I am convinced he would have been even more freaked out when Maddie was poked. Are you able to picture it? Does the vision in your head look like this?-- I am wrapped around Andrew holding him down for the finger poke and draw, while calming down Maddie with a very nurturing "You're not helping your brother. Stop screaming and suck it up! We're not even doing you yet!! Suck it up, suck it up.....SUCK IT UP!!!" Maddie's response? "screaming uncontrollably, screaming uncontrollably, screaming uncontrollably, etc...." She did not suck it up. On the contrary, she let it out, all throughout Andrew's poke, her poke and for 15 minutes afterward!! OK, it only felt like 15 minutes, but it did take her at least 5.

Part two, the doctor examined them. Then, just when we thought we would get to make a break for it, the doctor uttered these terrifying words, "Would you like them to get flu shots?" Me to doctor, "Oh, you have those available?" Me, in my mind: Oh crap, there's that word: shots. Look at their faces; they heard her. Oh, man. Will Maddie's head explode if she screams again? Maybe I'll just risk the flu. But Josh is diabetic. What to do, what to do? Finally the doctor cuts into my thoughts. "Mom? It's up to you? Do you want them to get the shots or not?" Arg-why does she keep saying shots! "Well, my husband is diabetic, so I guess the answer is yes?" And we were off to the races. Maddie immediately began chanting, "No, no, Mommy please." Andrew tucked himself into the corner of the room behind the examining table where he was well hidden.

Somehow, I was able to convince Maddie that shots were not as bad as the finger prick and she switched from begging to plotting. " Hurry, Mom, put a note on the door that says Bathroom, so the nurse won't know we're in here." She wasn't happy when I started laughing instead of putting up the note. The nurse walked in and Andrew started to walk out with the words "I'll be right back." The kid becomes so verbal when he's scared. He then switched to screaming, "HELP ME!! HELP ME!!" when I nixed the "be right back" plan. We got him done and then Maddie done. I thought we were finally at the finish line when I heard the nurse gasp and looked down to see Maddie's mouth was bleeding.

Then, we had to convince Maddie to let us look in her mouth. Luckily, the blood was from her remaining top tooth, which has been wiggly and became really loose during all her moving while getting her shot. The nurse helped wiggle the tooth to freedom with some gauze and put it in a clean cup for us. We were done! Off to the races, with completed medical forms, updated immunization records and one tooth in a lovely specimen cup.

Are you ready for the kicker? It's the best punch line ever. In the car, on the way out of the parking lot, Maddie says: "You know, Mom, next time if you don't have time to write bathroom on the door, just draw a picture of a man and woman. That tells you it's a bathroom, too."

Next year, Josh is going to take a personal day off from work to take them. It's a small price to pay for my sanity. Maybe Maddie can draw a sign for the bathroom and bring it with her. It's worth a try.

More Name Mix-ups Courtesy of Madeline

2008-09-23T18:05:00.004-04:00

Being Maddie's mother is never boring. Here she is hamming it up for her dad in my clothes. I wish I could say I was flattered that she was dressing up as me, but it was really more of a "look how I funny I look in Mommy's huge clothes" dress up session. Those are capris, which is why they are so short-my ginormous bottom is the reason they are so wide. Josh took the pictures for posterity-just wait until I get Maddie AND Andrew in HIS pants!!

OK, onto the name game--some recent conversations with Mads.

The first day of gym class.

Maddie, very excited: Mom, my gym teacher's name is Mr. Coyote!

The second day of gym class.

Maddie, utterly disappointed: Mom, my gym teacher's name is really Mr. Caoni.

(think Italian and pronounce it Ky-OH-nee, you can see how she got confused.)

The next Maddie name confusion story is dedicated to my brother, Tim---

Madeline (which is what she insists they call her at school) has two Timmys in her class. Apparently they are friends, because Maddie always refers to them as one--"the Timmys."

After a few days of school, Maddie comes home and proceeds to tell me the following with great glee:

Mom, Mrs. Cutler keeps mixing up our names. Guess what she calls the Timmys?

insert my "What?" in here

Timothy. giggle, giggle, giggle

insertion by me:"Maddie, Timothy is the same name as Timmy."

Maaaahhh-om, Timothy is NOT the same. Timmy is a boy's name and Timothy sounds like a girl's name!! giggle, giggle, giggle

"Timothy is Uncle Tim's full name."

It is? giggle, giggle, giggle.

Oh, well. She'll figure out I'm right......eventually.

Oh, those Politicians and ....... Principals?

2008-09-03T06:05:00.003-04:00

Maddie starts her first day of school today at Kent Elementary, "A Peacable School," that's right--a peacable school. I'm sorry, what was that? You don't know they mean by peacable? Well, you're in luck, because neither do I, so feel free to abstain from thinking you are dumber than me. I will research and get to the bottom of this vocabulary mystery unless some other smarty pants knows and feel free to post in the comments section and save me the trouble-OK?

Anyway, Maddie is very nervous about her first day at public school. She went to private kindergarten at the same school she attended for preschool-so this is her first big school transition. Josh had already taken her to wander around the school and find her classroom, but she was still nervous yesterday, so I took her again. The principal happened to be there and I brought Maddie up to him and explained that she was nervous for her first day.

He was very kind and reassuring with phrases like, "You'll do great. Everybody is nice here."

As we are leaving, Maddie had the following conversation with me--

Mad: Did he really mean that? EVERYBODY will be nice?
Me: Yes, Maddie.
Mad: I don't trust him.

That's right folks, at 6 years old, she recognizes politic rhetoric when she hears it. I'm so proud and dumbfounded at the same time.

I reassured Maddie that although she was right, it is impossible that EVERYONE at that school is always nice (because let's face it-she's right), I said what the principal meant to say was everyone should be nice and he wants to know if they are not nice. He's going to love my corrections when Maddie starts a little tattle tale list on who's breaking the nice rule. But, seriously, don't you think he started it?

What is the Opposite of Taco Bell? or The Opposites Conversation with Andrew

2008-08-29T10:00:00.002-04:00

Andrew is very proud of the fact that he has been learning his opposites in school. He starts conversations with us, like this: "What is the opposite of sad?"

Soooooooooooo, Josh and I decided to keep it going:

Us: Andrew, what is the opposite of black?
A: uh....WHITE!

Us: Left?
A: RIGHT!

Us: Up?
A: DOWN!

After a number of them, Josh and I are impressed, but being the terrible parents we are, not overly impressed. After all, these are preschool opposites we have been throwing at him. So, we decide to challenge him to see if he really understands the concept or if he has just memorized a bunch of simple ones they taught him in school.

Us: Andrew, what is the opposite of girl?
A: BOY!

Us: Mommy?
A: Daddy!

Josh: Hey, What's the opposite of the Red Sox?
A (without hesitation): YANKEES!

Our hearts overfloweth with joy at Andrew's grasp of opposites and baseball. So proud are we, we continued these little conversations for the next few days. Andrew finally had enough this morning and turned the tables on us.

Us: Andrew, what's the opposite of awake?
A: Asleeping. (direct quote)

Us: Yankees?
A: Red Sox

Then, the unthinkable. Our son proved, once and for all, he is smarter than his parents-

Andrew to us: What's the opposite of Taco Bells? (Taco Bell, Andrew's new favorite restaurant, which he refers to as Taco Bells.)
Us: complete silence since we are flummoxed (and how often do you get to use that word in everyday conversation)

After a lengthy pause, Wendy says: McDonald's?
Andrew smiles and repeats: McDonald's.

Cute Little Evan Frederick Fritz Adam George Tom Dick Harry Hinckley

2008-07-26T07:38:00.002-04:00

My nephew discovers the dog door at my parents' house. Apologies in advance to April for the title of the post; I couldn't resist.

Wacky Wednesday

2008-07-23T18:36:00.002-04:00

Maddie is decked out for Wacky Wednesday at camp.

Torturing My Parents' Dogs

2008-07-22T19:18:00.003-04:00

After Visiting Day, we took Maddie to McDonald's in White Plains, which is right next to the Christmas Tree Shops in White Plains. For those of you not from the East, Christmas Tree Shops is our version of Big Lots. The stores originated in Massachusetts. And the one thing you won't find there? Christmas Trees!! Even at Christmas time-no trees!! Even though I did seasonal work at CTS this past holiday, I still couldn't tell you where they got their bizarre name. So, back to shopping there, I got out without purchasing any toys for Andrew or Maddie, but along with the bathroom rug we needed, Maddie convinced me to purchase doggy clothing at clearance prices for my parents' dogs. Poor Teddy and Mabel!!

Camp Visiting Day

2008-07-22T18:51:00.010-04:00

Today was the day all the parents for Maddie's group got to visit camp. Maddie 's favorite part was showing off her much-improved swimming skills. Deep Water Test, be warned, Maddie is closing in on you!!

Miley Junior performs at Maddie's camp

2008-07-14T17:47:00.002-04:00

Tiffany Giardina performed at Maddie's camp last week as part of her summer camp tour. Maddie was super excited.

If you said, "Who is Tiffany Giardina?" --like I did---
here's her web-site---

http://www.myspace.com/tiffanygiardina

She's either a Disney star in the making or a wannabe. I can't tell which, but Maddie is too young to care--she loved it.

Fire at the camp?

2008-07-07T13:41:00.002-04:00

There was a kitchen fire at Maddie's camp today. She didn't even notice.

Hot vent started kitchen fire at Camp Mohawk in Greenburgh; no injuries
By Leslie Korngold and Rob RyserThe Journal News • July 7, 2008

GREENBURGH - A small kitchen fire this morning did not endanger anyone and campers "are happily on their way," said Mohawk Camp Director Barbara Schainman after a 9:14 a.m. alarm caused the camp to do a real fire drill.
It looks as if a hot kitchen vent leaning against the wall above large cooking vats started the fire at the 200 Old Tarrytown Road camp, Fairview fire Chief Robert Mauro said.

Hartsdale Fire Department as well as Fairview responded. A thermal imaging camera confirmed that the fire that spread to the second floor in a wall was out within 40 minutes of the initial call, Mauro said.
Pizza is being delivered for lunch today and barbecues will be held. "We always have alternate plans," Schainman said.
The fire damage was "miniscule," but it will be up to the Health Department whether they can start cooking tomorrow, Steven Fraietta, assistant building inspector said. There was water damage, Mauro said.
The 900-camper facility already had practice fire drills, Schainman said. The 30 to 40 5- and 6-year-olds who had just arrived at the main building in which the fire occurred got out "smoothly and immediately," Schainman said.
Their laughter was audible in the vast expanse of camp beyond the main building at 10 a.m.

http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080707/NEWS02/807070366

More 4th of July Fun

2008-07-07T13:35:00.003-04:00

Maddie is ready for some fun at camp on July 3rd.

Watermelon, blueberries and fresh mint--

it was an explosion of flavors and a lot yummier than it sounds!!

Andrew climbed into the pantry to put together his own meal--cheese crackers and Little Debbie's Honey Buns.

The 4th of July Miracle

2008-07-07T13:30:00.003-04:00

The number of hot dogs that come in a package of Sabrett's Beef Franks (8) is equal to the number of hot dog buns that came in the Pepperidge Farm brand bag (8)--the kids had already chowed down 2 of each before the picture.

Adventures with Andrew

2008-07-01T22:16:00.001-04:00

So, Andrew and I were finished with the first part of our day at 2:30 this afternoon, but we had to go to a doctor's appt of mine, then wait around until 5:30 to pick up Maddie from the camp bus/van stop. So, I thought, why not go to "Wendy's" and get Andrew a shake? It will put him in a good mood, which will make waiting around for me at the doctor easier. We enter the Wendy's drive-thru and proceed to wait..........and wait.........and wait. At this point, too many cars are behind us for me to back up. When we pulled in, we were only two cars behind the order box. The mini-van FINALLY finishes their order and the next car goes. After a couple minutes I get to pull up, but something is apparently wrong with the speaker because no one is asking for my order. "Hello? Hello?" I start knocking on the speaker and shouting, "Is anybody there?" I have no idea why I thought this would work, but, of course, it doesn't. The manager comes running out with a sign, which she tapes across the speaker "DRIVE THRU CLOSED" and turns to me with "We close. Food run out." Me: "Your food is all gone??!!" Her: "Jess. Food all gone." I am going to kick the rear end of the person in the burgundy mini-van, who I am now convinced ordered 200+ cheeseburgers for their local T-ball league or something. All I know is that 10-minute order took away Andrew's strawberry shake. The best part is that I couldn't leave right away, because they somehow still had enough food for the person who had been right in front of me and I was stuck in the middle of the line waiting for them to get their food. Andrew was less than thrilled when we finally pulled all the way through and went on our way without his promised shake. Poor kid. Luckily, no full blown tantrum occured, but he got back at me later.........see the next paragraph. Anyway, to wrap this paragraph up, this is just one of those things that only seems to happen to me. I know people say that all the time, but you can trust me. Josh and I are just seem to have the most unique Murphy's Law experiences I've ever heard of.

So, later that night, after I think Andrew is over the whole shake incident, I walk into the family room and see him across the way in the coat closet in the hall banging something shiny against the wall. Like any good mother, I shout, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The stupidity of alerting him to being caught when I was still too far away to grab his arm become abundantly clear when he quickly pulled the top on the shiny can and all the pent up soda pop starting spewing out all over the coat closet. If you think this wasn't revenge for the shake, you don't know Andrew as well as I do. For better or worse, the kid has the longest memory of anyone I've ever met in my life.

A Girl Named Bulletta?

2008-07-01T20:35:00.001-04:00

Maddie came home from her first day of camp and proudly told me the names of the other girls that ride the van home with her: Samantha, Annie and Bulletta. Bulletta? Bulletta is the nickname my father uses for his bulldog, Mabel. So, I'm thinking, there is no way this little girl's name is really "Bulletta," it must be something that sounds similar, such as Bernadette. Maddie is mixed up, right? So, I tell Maddie to ask again what the girls' names are. Today, the second day of camp, she comes home and proudly announces, "See!! I told you the girl's name was Mabel!" I had to explain that Bulletta is a nickname for bulldog, not Mabel.

The Dangers of Maddie Boredom

2008-06-28T20:03:00.000-04:00

The scene-driving back from meeting April and company in Connecticut. Normally a hour and a half, but we met halfway. Still after 35 minutes in the car, Maddie and I had the following conversation:

Mad: What is wrong with these people? None of them are smiling at me!
Mom: Who? The other drivers?
Mad: Yes, I'm showing them money and they're not smiling. (she did have a $5 bill) Why won't they smile at me? Can I spit at them?
Mom: NO!!!!!
Mad: You never let me do anything!!

Kicked off of a flight because of Autism?

2008-06-25T09:32:00.000-04:00

OK, I have mixed feelings on this, so I am wondering what y'all think. I agree that airline safety rules (such as seat belts) need to be followed and the child did need to be removed if he could not follow, but it also sounds like the staff was extremely insensitive to the mother's situation. I would expect an apology from American Airlines, too, if her version of the pilot's announcement was correct.
I, myself, personally vowed never to fly Delta again after they refused to let my sister pre-board with my wheelchair-bound nephew-TRUE STORY-my grandfather was dropping her off and reprimanded them, but to no avail. I never have flown Delta again, but if they had prices like JetBlue, I probably would. Anyway, back to what do you guys think? Should the airline have taken more care? Would it have made a difference?

By Ed Crump
CARY (WTVD) -- The mother is telling her story exclusively to Eyewitness News.
An American Eagle flight taxiing to an RDU runway was turned around Monday, but not because of a terrorist threat.
The crew was kicking an autistic Cary toddler and his mother off the plane.

Story continues below

As the American Eagle flight headed down the taxiway, 2-and a half-year-old Jarett Farrell wasn't a happy traveler.
His mother says she was doing all she could to calm the autistic boy, but got no sympathy from the flight crew.
"If they just would have been a little more understanding I think that none of this would have been a problem," Mother, Janice Farrell said.
But it became a big problem for everyone on the plane. Farrell says that's because the flight attendant was indignant.
"She kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, 'This has to stay tight'. And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him," Farrell said.
One of the pilots came back to the cabin with a stern warning and Farrell says the frustration level escalated.
She says Jarrett picked up on that and things only got worse.
"He just melted down. He saw me getting upset. He was upset. He was on the floor rolling around," she said.
The pilot returned to the cockpit, turned the plane around and headed back to the terminal.
"The pilot made an announcement that there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable. And at that point I just broke down," Farrell said.
Farrell says when she got back to her home in Cary she called her husband and they decided that she should call American Airlines corporate. She says a company representative apologized and said the incident should never have happened.
But that's not what American Airlines told Eyewitness News.
A spokesman in Dallas says Jarret was pitching a "raging fit".
And that Janice, who was in a front-row seat, refused to allow her bag to be placed in an overhead compartment, even though there was no under seat stowage.
He says that with a "passenger not complying with FAA regulations, this was the right decision."
Farrell says even though her travel bag had things to calm Jarrett, she did indeed give it to the flight attendant.
"She took my bag and put it up top," Farrell said.
Farrell is taking the train to see family in New Jersey and she and her husband say they will never fly American again.
(Copyright ©2008 WTVD-TV/DT. All Rights Reserved.)

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=news/local&id=6223045

Recent Cute Pics of the Kids

2008-06-22T20:00:00.001-04:00

These pics were taken at a state park near my sister's house in their Oriental Garden section.

M. with my sister's daughters.

Maddie looking cute, happy and very princess-y.

Andrew tolerates us.

Peeking through a hole in a walking bridge. This is his shaggy hair look, which I liked. It reminds me of a Beatles mop-top. A. was subjected to a summer cut three days ago.

St. Maddie and the Dragon

Josh took this one of Andrew looking up at him. A little fuzzy, but the result was priceless.

Church-isms

2008-06-20T12:42:00.000-04:00

Most of you know, I teach Sunday School to pre-schoolers at my church. Here are some gems from the children's meetings:

Q: What is your favorite Bible story?
A: Cinderella!

Q: Do you know why you are getting this award for being reverent?
A: Because I was being very prayer-ious.

Q: How should we dress? (note: the person who asked the question was looking for the word modest)
A: First, you get naked. Then, you put your undies on, then a dress.

Maddie-isms

2008-06-20T12:16:00.000-04:00

From the mouth of Maddie--

-Drinking ketchup is magical to me. An ick habit she picked up from Andrew.

-You can't tell me what to do. Only Jesus can tell me what to do. This was directed toward Josh. He responded very appropriately with a small lecture on the bible says honor your parents. I responded with, "Kid, your dad and Jesus are on a first name basis." My reply worked.

-Daddy, you're squishy.

-Peenie, peenie, peenie. This is her made up nickname for the male part. So I said, Maddie, that word is not appropriate. The following is what I got in reply- It's ok to say that word, listen, peen-EE, pen-IS, see? It doesn't even rhyme!!!

-Is this going to go all over town? She is asking me this at this very moment as I create this entry.